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Losing yet another friend. - Fourth Dimension
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10/18/13 10:57 pm
Losing yet another friend.

I can't keep this up. I'm not a huge fan of my job as it is. I don't hate it with a passion or anything, but Josh was pretty much the only thing keeping me sane some days.
And now he's leaving.
He's the last friend I had left at work - and one of the best friends I've had in my life. Yes, before you start pointing it out, I know I'm not really losing a friend. I'm sure I'll occasionally swap a text with him or see him on Facebook. We might even find some occasional free time once every two or three months to hang out. But he's the only friend I had left who I got to see and talk to four or five days a week. He's the one I vent to about stuff at work who understands what's going on. Yeah, I'm being stupid and sappy right now, but... I'm upset. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy for him that he's finally found something else. I hope it's a better chapter in his life. If nothing else he'll have more time with his kids. And, yes, I knew he'd end up leaving before me. But I guess a large part of me always hoped that he'd last there as long as I did and then just quit on the same day I did and then neither of us would have to work there without the other one to support him.
I'll be fine. I know. I just hate it right now. I'm so tired of getting close to people and then having them disappear. I was crushed when Jacob left; I was sad when Aaron left. I'm out of people. I'm not making any more friends at work. Again, yes, I know that's stupid. Like I said: I'm upset. It's been a bad day.

I had a message from Dakota today. I know he's been having problems again finding someone who will take him in while he's trying to get back on his feet. He needed a money transfer to try to get a cheap motel over the weekend until he gets into his new job next week. I told him I wasn't sure if I'd get off work in time to get to Walmart to do a MoneyGram, but I'd try. Then it occurred to me to ask Josh to go make the transfer since he got off about three hours before me. He agreed and managed to get it done... but it turns out I still failed because Dakota couldn't get there in time to get it picked up. So I don't know where he's sleeping tonight. Hopefully not his car again, but I'm betting that's where it will be. I just feel so helpless when it comes to him. I wish he lived closer; Texas is just too far away for me to be able to help him like I want to. But I know he wants to stay close to his kid.

So... I'm upset because my support structure is failing and I'm upset because I failed in supporting someone else.

I need something good to happen. Soon.

I'm just so tired.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: upset

3CommentReply

tick_1989
tick_1989
2013-10-20 08:13 pm (UTC)

That sucks that all your friends left guess you'll have to get new ones, I'm still here lol.


ReplyThread
jamesbock
jamesbock
Dave
2013-10-23 02:49 am (UTC)

It's not like they're gone completely... just not at work. So I won't get to see them as much any more.


ReplyThread Parent
tick_1989
tick_1989
2013-10-23 07:28 pm (UTC)

OH,ok so there still around, that;s good


ReplyThread Parent